Archive for September, 2011

Fix Hiccups. :)

Friday, September 30th, 2011

Curing Hiccups

   Okay I had to write this down because I’m convinced it is a guarantied fix for hiccups.  Now, I came up with this, by understanding what was happening when we get the hiccups, or as I see it.   Occasionally your body “misses a step” when breathing (which can be brought on by a trigger, like eating too fast), causing the diaphragm to spasm and contract violently, resulting in a massive amount of air to be inhaled quickly.  When that occurs the vocal cords and surrounding throat collapse, causing a stoppage of the air.  As far as I can tell, that starts the cycle.  

 

The important part: Fixing the problem.   Remember, if you want to get rid of them, you’ll have to follow these instructions EXACTLY.

 

  1. Tilt your head back. Look as straight up as possible.
  2. Open your mouth wide.
  3. Stick your tongue out.

(The entire point of this is to open up your throat as much as possible, it may look odd, but hey.)

  1. Keeping your throat as wide open as possible, take 5 DEEP breaths.  (Do not close your mouth or pause between breaths.)
  2. Congratulations, you’ve beaten the hiccups.

 

NOTE: Be sure you have a partner with you, as you may become dizzy and slightly disoriented.  This must be performed standing.

 

This has a 100% success rate, so don’t screw it up.

 

DISCLIAMER:  The author of this remedy is not a physician, and is not responsible for the accidental injury or death due to misuse or anything even remotely related to the advice given.  Use at your own risk.

Death Penalty, America’s vice

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

   I’m often asked why I have such a negative view of America or even humanity in general.  Today I have but one answer, the Death Penalty.   Tonight we, yes WE, will put Troy Davis to death, despite there being growing concern and evidence that he is innocent.   I’m not here to talk about Troy’s innocence or guilt, he’s been through almost every court system known… and they are determined to kill him.   There’s no stopping it now.   No, what I’m talking about is the death penalty itself.

   You ask me why I’m so hard on us here in America, and why I verbally scorn the human race…   I give you, the Death Penalty.    Nothing else on this planet sums up our lack of enlightenment and our lust for blood, quite like the Electric Chair.   We in America are some of the biggest hypocrites.   We berate other countries and societies for their bizarre and inhumane methods of punishment, and then turn around and pump 2000 volts of electricity through another human until they literally fry inside.   It’s barbaric.   The simple fact that there even has to be a debate over it, confirms that we as a people don’t deserve the label of “civilized society”.

   I’ve heard all the arguments in favor of the Death Penalty… heh, arguments, if you can call them that.   Like, “What if it was your relative that was murdered?”   Seriously?   Well of course I’d want them dead.   I’d want to kill them myself if I could.   Who could honestly say they wouldn’t say that?   As a victim, that would be a normal instinct.   Luckily most of us will never know.   Does that make me the hypocrite then?   Perhaps.   But then, I’ve come to accept my roll as a barbarian, and animal, with no illusions as to the nature of my species.

   So, while Troy gets cooked from the insides tonight, I’d like you to think about your place in his life.    Do you think about it?    Is the death penalty something we NEED as a “civilized society”?    Innocent or guilty, is there a NEED for vengeance?   Or is “eye for an eye” still a civilized rule to live by?

   Evolution to Revolution…  May we eventually set ourselves free or rid this planet of our existence.