Archive for May, 2008

Less isn’t just more, it’s better!

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

There are many things I like about how our government works… but I dare say, there are a great deal more things I hate about it. It’s broken. The whole process is broken. The election process is a joke, but I’m sure you all know that, so I’m not going into that one right now.

What I’m talking about today is the formulation of a simple bill in congress. It’s really a no brainer. Say you have this amazing idea, that say, cures poverty. It’s a great idea and everyone loves it. You create a bill, which is really just a proposal on how it works, talk to all your buddies about it, and submit it to congress for a vote. Every thing looks great, and people can’t wait for this thing to pass, so they can get to work on it. Then, some idiot attaches another bill to yours. What’s the problem, right? Well, his bill says that all puppies between the ages of birth to 11 months, must be beaten with a wiffle ball bat, until dead. Who the hell would sign that? OK, some of them would, but not a majority ( I hope ). Now, in a system that wasn’t broken, you would simply remove the offending bill and vote on your own bill separately. Why would you do anything else? Is there some sort of physical limitation to these paper products that thwarts any attempt to use a staple remover? Seriously? What is your figgin’ problem, men and women of Congress and Senate? Unless of course, you had no real intention of passing the bill in the first place? And don’t give me this line about “We have to attach bills together, otherwise we’d never be able to get anything done. We can’t vote on every bill individually.” Well I have news for you. You don’t get anything done anyway!!! Guess what!! Yes you can!! And still have time for golf with your buddies from Pfizer. Lazy bastards.

In conclusion, I get the feeling that the people running this horse and pony show, have nobodies interest at heart but their own. They don’t care about you, they don’t care about me, they just do what the lobbyist tells them to. It’s a simple fix, vote separately. Judge each bill on it’s own. It makes sense. And stop lying to the American people.

The King

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Just when you thought they couldn’t make the Burger King, King, any creepier they roll out a whole new set of ads that not only surpass the old ones but all other ads in the creepy factor. I know you know the ad that I’m talking about, but for those of you that don’t watch TV (and good for you, btw), I’m referring to Burger King’s new Breakfast Wrap ad. The ad, set in a futuristic theme, features a new floating robot King that dispenses hot’n tasty breakfast treats from various trap doors on its machine body. Yes, they’ve managed to keep the King’s head just as creepy as the original, just slightly more uh… chrome? Anyway, the ad starts off with a guy just waking up out of bed. He is immediately handed a breakfast wrap ( a nasty monstrosity, filled with every possible breakfast food item ), he’s pleased with the service and thanks the King. He is then handed an empty cup, which the King promptly fills with hot coffee from his finger. If this isn’t creepy enough, this next part will get you. The narrator continues to sell the food items when the scene cuts to a woman who just enters the room, takes one look at the King and says in the most suggestive of ways, “And he’s great with his fingers too.” At which point it cuts back to the King, the King turns to her and wiggles his little robot fingers like something you might see and newly wed do at his blushing bride. It’s amazing!!! I laughed my ass off, but was so weirded out by the whole thing I haven’t gone back to Burger King yet. I’m too uncomfortable. It would be like walking into Caligula’s bathhouse and ordering a cheese burger. Eew.

 

 

On a personal note: To all you frakken* idiots out there, including that Stupid blonde bimbo driving her BMW 745Li, Manatee license plate number IBE 870. STOP THROWING YOUR DAMN CIGARETT BUTTS OUT OF YOUR DAMN CARS!!!

 

( * SEO buzz word. heh heh )

 

It’s Math time again.

Friday, May 9th, 2008

Add it up kids. Everything is up. Up, up, up!!

US National Debt reaches an all time high of $9.3 TRILLION!
Profits for Exxon reached a record 11 Billion!
Gas prices reach a record $4 per gollon!
Profits for BP reach a record 9.6 Billion!
Home foreclosures reach a record 2.04 percent!
Profits for Shell reach a record 6 Billion!

It’s been a record breaking term for President Bush.

Note: Oil company profits based on quarterly earnings. Exxon holds the record for the highest profits from a US company, for 2007, 2006, and 2005. According to CNN Money, Exxon’s total profits for 2007 were $40.61 Billion!

Q: What business is the Bush family in?
A: Oil. (but I would accept: “destroying this country” as a valid answer.)

Not to mention the cost of 4000 service member lives.
I could go on… but it’s sooooooo depressing.

DO THE MATH!!!! (it’s right in front of you!)